


The Marauder Reconstruction

by PurpleFiction



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Brain Damage, Brain Injury, Cruciatus Curse, Depression, Disability, First War with Voldemort, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Love, M/M, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Special Needs Sirius Black, Torture, Trauma, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:42:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29643198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleFiction/pseuds/PurpleFiction
Summary: Sirius has been through undescribable torture at the hands of the Death Eaters. In his refusal to give up vital information, the whereabouts of the Potter family, he paid the price. Now, even though the war was won and the entire Wizarding World is celebrating, James and Remus are instead keeping vigil at the bedside of their best friend. Sirius had beaten the odds and survived the war but now he is lying in a hospital bed, unresponsive with severe brain trauma. The healers have no idea if he will ever wake up or if he will ever be the same person again if he does wake up. Remus and James vow to help Sirius in this new life but they could never imagine how difficult the journey will be.While Sirius struggles to survive his injuries, Remus struggles to manage his own illness on top of James's steadily declining mental health. James struggles to cope with unimaginable guilt and Lily struggles to keep herself, Harry, and the three Marauder’s afloat in these new, uncertain post-war times.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 29





	The Marauder Reconstruction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to read stories about what life would have been like if the Maruaders had all survived the first Wizarding War. I have always imagined that the war would have been this huge, traumatic, life-altering event for the Marauders. Many fan fictions offer a reality that is better than the HP canon, but I have never believed that the alternative would be better or worse. Just different. I really hope you enjoy this first chapter of The Marauder Reconstruction.
> 
> (I started this story back in 2014 on ff.net, you can actually still see the original first chapter there, but I only managed to publish one chapter before my laptop was stolen and I lost all of the other chapters I'd written. I've always wanted to come back to this story and I'm happy to say I've finally found that spark again. I have reimagined the base format for this story but I've kept the main idea the same.)

**St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Intensive Care Unit**

**Monday, 9th November, 1981**

* * *

“A good quality of life cannot be guaranteed,” Healer Alexander explained. “It’s possible that allowing the injuries to take their course is the more compassionate course of care.”

James felt as if he had just been dropped through the floor into a dungeon that was just getting deeper and deeper, never reaching the bottom. His grasp on reality had been fickle this past week and the healer’s words spun in his head like a dizzying, nauseating chorus.

_Let the injuries take their course._

_A good quality of life cannot be guaranteed._

James knew what the healer was trying to say. He could read between the lines.

_Let him die._

_Let him die._

_Let him die._

_They want you to let him die._

It took a long moment before James's conscious mind found its way back to his body. He took a deep breath, taking stock off all that was going on around him. The healer in his lime-green robes, Remus standing just to his right, Sirius laying in the bed to his left. Finally feeling grounded in the reality of the current moment, James glanced at Remus and then looked back to the healer. He stared hard into the healer’s eyes; the rage was slowly bubbling up to the surface.

“What are you saying?” James’s voice was low, defensive. “That we just let him die, then?”

Healer Alexander swallowed and tried to be as placating as possible. This was not the first bad reaction to terrible news he’d ever witnessed, but he could already tell this would be one of the worse reactions he'd experienced.

“Mr. Pott-”

“No. Don’t Mr. Potter me,” James’s temper could not be controlled now. He was shaking with rage and frustration.

Remus felt the heartbreak in James’s voice resonate through his own body and he reached out to place a hand on James’s trembling shoulder, but James shrugged it off roughly.

“This man is my best friend, he suffered through horrific torture so that my family would survive the war. He never gave up our position. He saved my life, my wife’s life, my _baby’s life_ and I’m not going to just let him die.”

Healer Alexander opened his mouth to speak but closed it again when Remus shook his head slightly, in his eyes was a look of sadness and alarm. Remus had seen plenty of people on receiving end of James’s rage and, for a moment, Remus worried that James would hurt the healer for even suggesting.

James walked a few steps toward the healer, his body language suggesting a fight. He squared up but, just as Remus moved to get between the two men, suddenly turned around and punched a hole straight into the wall behind him. A fist-sized hole was suddenly there were just moments before it had been smooth drywall and pristine, white paint.

James stormed out of the room and down the hallway before either Remus or the healer could react to what had just happened. Nobody said a word.

The tension was so thick in the air that Remus could feel it every time he took a shaky breath.

“You can’t guarantee a good quality of life,” said Remus quietly, taking Sirius’s hand in his own, stroking the delicate fingers and bruised skin. “But you also can’t guarantee a bad quality of life.”

“It's true that there are no guarantees when talking about the prognosis of a traumatic brain injury patient,” Healer Alexander agreed, speaking in a soft, calming tone. "I'm speaking only from professional experience when I suggest-"

“But you said he’s not brain dead, he still has brain function,” Remus cut him off, his eyes beginning to sting with hot tears. “Right?”

“That’s right,” Healer Alexander confirmed. "But the damage is almost certain to be severe Mr. Lupin. He has suffered three strokes and several severe brain bleeds in the past week and now we are still struggling to just get the swelling in his brain under control."

“We are not removing any treatments or life support. He has brain function. He's still in there,” the desperation in Remus's voice was unmistakable. 

Healer Alexander only nodded in response before finishing up the notes he was making in Sirius’s chart.

“Okay, Mr. Lupin,” Healer Alexander said on his way out the door. "His nurse will be in soon."

Remus watched as Healer Alexander left the room and he finally sat down in the chair at Sirius's bedside that had been situated in such a way that it was easy for whoever sat there to hold Sirius's hand. The room was suddenly very quiet, the only sound Remus could hear was the soft, steady whirr of Sirius's ventilator breathing for him.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

He stared longingly at the man he loved for a lingering moment, taking in the bruising and lacerations littering Sirius's once perfect skin. He'd been so fit and athletic, perfectly muscled, and ready to take on the world before the Death Eater's had kidnapped him. Now he was thin and gaunt, his body ravaged, and skin marred by torture, starvation, and months without sunlight. The sight of Sirius did not make Remus sick but imagining how he suffered, did. Remus tore his gaze away from his lover and glanced toward the wall where James had created a hole with his fist just minutes earlier.

“It’s not your fault, you know.”

He listened for a reply from the other man but, of course, none came. There was only the continued steady sound of the ventilator.

“That James is so angry, I mean.”

_The silence from the man in the bed was oppressive._

“Those last two months in the war were so difficult for him. Knowing you were out there, missing. And Dumbledore wouldn’t let James leave the house for fear that he or Lily and Harry would be compromised.”

_Why was it so goddamned quiet in here?!_

“Sirius. Please. James needs you. I...”

_Why was he hesitating? Sirius already knew._

“I need you.”

Remus let his plea linger in the air and ran his hand gently through Sirius’s hair, careful to avoid the large bandage covering the surgical scar where his various brain bleeds had been repaired and a shunt to drain the excess cerebrospinal fluid into his stomach was placed. He pressed a gentle kiss to Sirius’s forehead, taking in the smell of his lover’s skin.

“I love you.”

_Come on, give me some sign, Sirius. Anything, just- I need something to live for…_

Remus watched for a moment longer hoping and praying that his wishful thinking would make his boyfriend better, before sighing and standing up. His knees and joints creaked as he straightened to his full height despite being only twenty-one years old, an unfortunate side effect of his monthly transformations.

“I need to go find James but I’ll be back as soon as I know he’s okay. Just rest, love. I promise I’ll be back.”

Remus pressed one more kiss to Sirius’s forehead before turning and walking out of the room, dimming the lights, and pulling the door until it was just slightly ajar as he left. Remus didn’t even glance back as he walked down the hallway. He hated leaving Sirius alone but James needed him right now and Remus knew exactly where he'd be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any suggestions, hopes, wishes? Leave them in a comment. :)


End file.
